PlayStation 4: Yeah, Alright Then

February 21, 2013
Gaming
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Bloody nora. The irony of a barely-working 240fps stream showcasing some of the most advanced videogames on the planet aside, THE PLAYSTATION 4 HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED.

That’s big news to a PlayStation whore like me; someone who’s owned (in some form) every single PlayStation thus far, home console or portable (the materialistic bastard that I am). Will PS4 be emptying my wallet this time next year? I think the answer to that question is pretty obvious, but allow me to at least sum up why.

The one thing I’d been waiting to hear since the announcement of this announcement was that Sony would finally make good on the cross-compatibility of the Vita and PS3 by making it not actually a complete ballache. And lo and behold, THEY DELIVERED! VITAAAAAA!

Shamelessly stealing the name of a certain new telecommunications company and twisting it around the concepts of PlayStation 4, Sony’s promise of ‘everything everywhere’ should mean that in time, thanks to all this Gaikai cloud tech stuff, we’ll be able to play every single PlayStation game ever released on the Vita. Timesplitters on the Tube! Battlefront on the bus! WOOHOO! Effectively this is taking what the Wii U does and turning it up to eleven; though of course, the tech having been present since the days of PSP, nobody can really call Sony out on having somehow stolen it from Nintendo.

Meanwhile, the new DualShock looks more agreeable than I’d anticipated too; particularly for someone like me who has the world’s smallest hands. The share stuff seems like a lark, though I’m not sure when I’ll use the whole ‘pass-the-pad’ thing where you can jump in to someone else’s game (or have them jump into yours). Plus, as only one person needs to own the game, wouldn’t that technically mean you can play through your friend’s entire game without buying it?

On that note, I’d like to talk about the games showcased. But, as my stream had a speed of approximately 0.3fps, I can’t. Except for that Media Molecule thing with the Move, which looked balls-to-the-wall weird (though I mean, it is Media Molecule, so what do you expect) but also genuinely intriguing. Considering LittleBigPlanet is one of my favourite IPs of the current generation (and the best Vita game I own), I’m confident MM will come through with some innovative uses of Move, the DualShock 4 and that PlayStation 4 Eye thingy. If not, I’ll eat somebody’s hat.

Not my hat. I like my hat.

Anyway, as I so humorously posted on Twitter last night, it seems Sony are following up their Book of Spells venture by bundling an Invisibility Cloak with the PlayStation 4. (Ohoho.) By which I of course mean they didn’t show the bloody thing, but as several people have pointed out, it’ll only be a black box anyway. Which I guess is fair enough, but I wish we could get a few different colour options from the off. I’d really quite have liked a white or red PS3 Slim (not Super Slim, yuck) but I wasn’t going to spend money on it when I already had a black one.

Sony also neglected to mention how much this wonderbox is going to set us back, but ShopTo had the good grace to take a stab in the dark and list it immediately after the conference for a mere £399. At the time (but since removed) they also guaranteed release by 2050. No time like the present.

Anyway, I’ll no doubt be there day one, or week one, or whenever I get any money, to surrender it all to the PlayStation overlords. Which might actually be quite a while after release considering I’m currently struggling to pony up the £20 I need to secure one at GAME. Then again, what are the chances GAME will still be here by winter? The high street will no doubt be dead by then. (Even more so than now).

Still, wherever I buy it from, I will be sure to write some more foaming-at-the-mouth jibberish about how much I love it/regret wasting hundreds of pounds on it. If you have no idea what I just spent 700 words rabbiting on about, watch the video below for a (hilarious) guide to Sony’s conference.

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